This Journey Is My Own: Part I

Living and breathing for an audience of one

I haven’t written about how Sara Groves’s songs and lyrics have impacted my life. How much her albums and songs have grown and gone forward without me. A few years later, I spent time catching up, realizing she was on track (pun not intended) all along.

I don’t remember when or how I discovered Sara’s music. It was 2003 or 2004 when I happened upon her album, Conversations. So much of her music spoke to me at a time when I was in transition. Painting Pictures of Egypt was held new meaning when I made a move from Long Island, NY, to a town 50 miles south of Louisville, KY, after marriage. I was homesick and grieving for the life I once had.

This Journey Is My Own instantly resonated with me. I named a blog after it. She sings about people-pleasing and reminds me that I ultimately live for God, and he’s the only one I should care about.

And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one

Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one

Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one

‘Cause I know this journey is my own

When I felt lousy about reading the Bible inconsistently, “The Word” assured me that I was not alone.

“Hello Lord” made me feel like my lack of articulate prayers didn’t have to be elegantly phrased. I just needed to be honest. Have you ever tried speaking to God or some divine being and felt like you’re hopelessly just speaking to air? That feeling of praying and not “hearing” anything? That emptiness and abandonment? I’m not alone; someone else literally wrote what I felt and turned it into a song.

“Cave of Adullum” gave me comfort when I felt all alone. “Me against the world” alone.

When “How Is It Between Us” starts playing, I wonder about the last time I prayed. (I have a sense of shame about it because I’m not consistent. This song reminds me to keep trying.)

And that’s just the Conversations album from 2001.

As Sara’s career progressed, her music reminded me of biblical truths adapted from Bible verses.

Add to the Beauty came out in 2005, and this album was a borderline album for me at the time. While it had beautiful songs that deeply resonated with me, it seemed to speak to my emotions rather than focus on the Bible. The songs were more ordinary. Mundane. There were fewer songs that were overtly about the gospel. In my mind, Sara was beginning to backslide! I reasoned that it was based on real experiences even though she wasn’t quoting Bible verses outright. I enjoyed the album and accepted it as empathetic but not an outright worship album.

The Other Side of Something seemed like a turn in the right direction. Songs like “Jeremiah,” “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” and “Compelled” were Bible based. Yes! This was the kind of music I felt honored God and hoped Sara would continue to write.

Tell Me What You Know dropped in 2007. I excitedly listened to each song, waiting for a song to speak to my heart. The album ended in disappointment. A few songs were related to God but seemed to be a generic album that could’ve been played on mainstream radio. I mean, really, what were “Abstraction,” “In the Girl There’s a Room,” and “I Saw What I Saw”? What was this social justice nonsense? Why was Sara writing these kinds of songs that didn’t clearly outline Biblical truth?

Given that I had been such a longtime Sara Groves fan, I gave her one more chance with Fireflies and Songs (2009). The album was complete trash to me. Again, devoid of Biblical content. I began to divorce myself from Sara’s music. As a last resort, I tried Invisible Empires (2011) and abandoned all hope. Since Tell Me What You Know, I decided she had slowly begun to deviate from worship songs to secular music. Her descent into liberalism was not something I wanted to associate with. I chose to listen to her earlier music but stopped supporting her later work.

Abide With Me, an album full of hymns, flew under my radar since I no longer kept up with her. As far as I was concerned, she was lost, a backslider, and a heathen. She had strayed from the truth of God’s word, had gone liberal, and needed to repent.

Then, in December 2019, I experienced a transition in my life that would be the jumpstart to a new spiritual journey—a journey that would eventually incorporate all of Sara’s music.